Not Easy But Important

When you have an inability to say ‘no’ to family, friends, or colleagues, you give them your valuable time and energy. This can leave you drained and depleted.

When it's time to say no, say so. How do you do that? With these simple, three steps. Let’s use the scenario of someone wanting you to help them move:

  1. Open with something positive, like, “I’m so glad you’re moving, I know you’ve been wanting to move for a long time.”

  2. Then, say, “Unfortunately, I’m unavailable to help you because I’ve already have plans.”

  3. Finish with, “Hope your move goes well, and let me know if you need any boxes. I’ve got tons I can give you.”

That sounds easy, but that’s because I’ve taught that script a bazillion times. The thing to remember is this: just because you’re telling someone ‘no’, doesn’t mean you have to feel bad about it. In other words, start with a positive. Also, giving a because works wonders every time.

And, if your because is private information — like you’re unavailable because you’re going to counseling to repair your marriage — you don’t disclose you’re going to counseling to repair you marriage. You’re because is worded in such a way that simply tells the other person that you already have something planned.

Now, end on a positive. Why not end on a positive? Just because (in this case) you can’t help your friend move, doesn’t mean you’re not a good friend.

The script is good, but you’ve got to practice it. Especially if you have people who take advantage of you just because — they know — you can’t say ‘no’.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Kick Them Out


What is your great influencer? Some are easy to spot, but not all are, though. The tough one to find is the one you don't know exists. It has your attention. It affects you everyday. But, you don't realize it.

My recommendation is to sift through and figure out what gets your attention. Then ask yourself, "Does this influence me?"

See. Negative influences are so powerful because they slip down deep into your inner circle. Meaning. They are embedded in your heart and mind. Which is your most sacred space. But, like a good bouncer at a popular bar, you must kick them out.

Only the influences that help you become your true self are invited in.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Three Questions


1 . Could you stand discovering a hidden part of you?

2 . When it showed itself, would you have the courage to embrace it?

3 . And, if you couldn't, would that make you weak?

The answer is absolutely, positively not. Weakness has nothing to do with not wanting to see that part of you that is referred to as your shadow. Think about it. It sits in a hidden place. Unseen. Disassociated from anything viewable in your life.

But, like a stone in your shoe, it's there. It hurts. Negatively affecting every relationship you have. Including the most important relationship. The one you have with yourself. For it is your sense of self that directs what you do, how you do it, and how much joy you gain from it.

So. Know this. You’re healthy, true self get expressed — only to the degree — that it is visible. And. What about the invisible? Unfortunately, what you can't see about yourself has the power to have a negative affect on just about everything you can see.

But, of course, you don't know it, cause you can't see it.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Just the Numbers


Quick Facts About Stress:

➡︎ Americans spend $11.3 billion per year to cope with stress.
➡︎ Over 90% of disease is caused or complicated by stress.
➡︎ Job stress is estimated to cost U.S. industry $300 billion annually.
➡︎ Percentage of adults being treated for depression: 54%.
➡︎ Stress has been linked to all leading causes of death, including heart disease and cancer.
➡︎ Long-term stress is strongly associated with depression, heart disease, and weakened immune system.
➡︎ Up to 60% of employee absences are due to psychological problems such as stress and depression.
➡︎ Estimated percentage of American adults attempting to control stress: 95%

What are your stress level like?

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Just Listen to Your Heart


When your life is in the flow, it feels fantastic. When you are stuck, it feels funky. What makes this happen? Fear. To remedy this, when fear hits, use all your energy to break free of the internal messages keeping you stuck. How do you do that? By listening to your heart. It will tell you what you need to do.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Recognize the Signal

Deep Water.jpg

How long does it take for you to make a decision, get started, or finish something? For me, it depends. It depends on my emotional investment. And, my struggle, is to quiet my emotions as my work moves me into deeper waters.

So, the lesson here is not to be unemotional. The lesson is to recognize that your emotions are a signal. The stronger the signal, the greater the decision.

In a nutshell, your destiny is calling.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

In Jeopardy


There is a difference between chunking activities and going crazy on one activity. It all rests in your prioritization.

Low-level activities such as cleaning, shopping, or paying bills should be chunked. Top-priority activities —such as pursuing a great business idea — requires your full-on attention and tons of time.

Hear me, though. If you do not have the self-mastery to arrange this required order, the success of your dream will be in jeopardy.

Bottom line: Protect your dream with devoted focus.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

See Yourself as Free


Do you feel free or do you feel torn?

Feeling torn comes from unresolved issues. Issues about an important problem (or situation). Unable to find a resolution, you feel frozen.

Thaw out this frustrating predicament by seeing yourself as free. Free to focus on making a decision. Any decision. But make one. In other words, set an objective and take action.

Bottom line: Tear up and discard the feeling of feeling torn.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Connect the Dots


To me, life is about connecting the dots. Example? You go out for dinner, order lobster, go home, and swell up. When you connect the dots, you realize you're allergic to shellfish.

That was easy. But, what if, the things you do — day in and day out — end up being unhealthy for you? What if, you can't connect the dots? And, best of all, what if you are really, really good at covering up the disconnect?

Meaning, inside of you, you're empty and lost. Outside of you, you're busy and smiling. This pattern — of ignoring what hurts you —really hurts you in the long run.

What is the downside? The downside is a half-lived life.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always her to help.

Morning Matters


Try this. Pick up your bedroom before going to bed. Lay out workout clothes for the morning. Fill up your water bottle and put it in the refrig. Set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier than you normally get up. Then, in the morning, stretch, meditate, journal, or exercise. Do something just for you.

Believe me. A lot of good can come out of losing 30 minutes of sleep.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.