patterns

Connect the Dots

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To me, life is about connecting the dots. Example? You go out for dinner, order lobster, go home, and swell up. When you connect the dots, you realize you're allergic to shellfish.

That was easy. But, what if, the things you do — day in and day out — end up being unhealthy for you? What if, you can't connect the dots? And, best of all, what if you are really, really good at covering up the disconnect?

Meaning, inside of you, you're empty and lost. Outside of you, you're busy and smiling. This pattern — of ignoring what hurts you —really hurts you in the long run.

What is the downside? The downside is a half-lived life.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always her to help.

Break the Trance

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Here's a question I want you to think about: What makes your day difficult? In other words, on a very basic level, what keeps you from doing what you need to do?

I realize that every day is different and that each day comes with its share of difficulties, but I want you to focus on the difficulty (difficulties) that seem to run through most days.

As you answer this question, is there a pattern? Is it lack of time? No help from others? An overall sense of stress? An inability to stay on track? Money shortage?

Or, did you notice that there is no pattern? Meaning, you seem to always just end up at the close of another day thinking, "What the heck happened?" (When my days end that way, I feel like a hot mess.)

Pattern or no pattern, daily difficulties happen. And, it's your daily difficulties that can keep you stuck. You're stuck because you keep staring at the same problems over and over and over like you glare at a bright, shiny object.

I like to describe this as being 'transfixed'. And, while being transfixed can feel like you're moving in the right direction of overcoming the difficulty and moving on, the opposite is happening. The truth is, you're actually stuck.

And why are you stuck? Because when you're transfixed, everything else gets blocked out. You can't see answers. You can't see solutions. You can't hear someone's encouragement. You can't think anything else. You only see the difficulty.

Here's how to remedy being stuck:
1) Realize when you're in the trance
2) Break the trance by focusing elsewhere
3) Look for (another) solution

You're probably wondering how you do that? Well, the answer is so simple! For example, let's say you're at your desk — and in your mind — you're freaking out over how little time you have to finish your report.

It's then — in that moment — that you recognize that (1) You're transfixed on the stress of having little time. (2) You break the trance by telling yourself, "If I'm short time, me worrying about lack of time takes precious time from completing my project. (3) I will focus, now, back on finishing my project."

I know you're probably thinking, well that won't work. But, trust me, it works. Try it. The next time you're in the middle of your difficulty I recommend you realize it, break it, and apply a solution.

So, what do you do if you can't find (another) solution? Well, don't worry about that. At least you broke the trance and you don't feel stuck. And that's a great feeling right there.

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

Wishing You Could Change Things

Something Interesting Happened
I discovered that I had thoughts that simply were not true (but I believed that they were). Unfortunately for me, though, once I checked off those thoughts as true, every decision I made going forward was based off of that 'non-truth'. 

Stepping back, I see how this happened, and, how it can happen to you, too. It happens because we have a need to follow our self-beliefs of who we 'think' we are. We want certainly. Patterns feel right. We want to know who we really are inside.

What Happened Next
Once I uncovered this discovery, I immediately did a course correct. It took me awhile to convince myself to move on, but once I did, I became happier, I felt lighter, and I was more focused. It's almost as if the universe took over. 

The weird part of this, though, is that I can see non-truths when I'm working with clients. They explain something to me, and I can come right back with the question that gets them to rethink what they think is true. Then if necessary, they do a course correct.

Something to Think About
I recommend you take some time to see how your life is going. If you feel stuck, unmotivated, wishing you could change things, you might be dealing with some 'non-truths' of your own.

The good news is that once you get those out of the way and live your truth, life will open up and deliver to you all it's grace and beauty it has to offer. 

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

3 Remedies to Move Forward

Here's a question I want you to think about: What makes your day difficult? In other words, on a very basic level, what keeps you from doing what you need to do?

I realize that every day is different and that each day comes with its share of difficulties, but I want you to focus on the difficulty (difficulties) that seem to run through most days.

As you answer this question, is there a pattern? Is it lack of time? No help from others? An overall sense of stress? An inability to stay on track? Money shortage? 

Or, did you notice that there is no pattern? Meaning, you seem to always just end up at the close of another day thinking, "What the heck happened?" (When my days end that way, I feel like a hot mess.) 

Pattern or no pattern, daily difficulties happen. And, it's your daily difficulties that can keep you stuck. You're stuck because you keep staring at the same problems over and over and over like you glare at a bright, shiny object.

I like to describe this as being 'transfixed'. And, while being transfixed can feel like you're moving in the right direction of overcoming the difficulty and moving on, the opposite is happening. The truth is, you're actually stuck. 

And why are you stuck? Because when you're transfixed, everything else gets blocked out. You can't see answers. You can't see solutions. You can't hear someone's encouragement. You can't think anything else. You only see the difficulty.

Here's how to remedy being stuck:
1)  Realize when you're in the trance
2)  Break the trance by focusing elsewhere
3)  Look for (another) solution

You're probably wondering how you do that? Well, the answer is so simple! For example, let's say you're at your desk and in your mind you're freaking out over how little time you have to finish your report. 

It's then -- in that moment -- that you recognize that (1) You're transfixed on the stress of having little time. (2) You break the trance by telling yourself, "If I'm short time, me worrying about lack of time takes precious time from completing my project. (3) I will focus, now, back on finishing my project."

I know you're probably thinking, well that won't work. But, trust me, it works. Try it. The next time you're in the middle of your difficulty I recommend you realize it, break it, and apply a solution. 

So, what do you do if you can't find (another) solution? Well, don't worry about that. At least you broke the trance and you don't feel stuck. And that's a great feeling right there.

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

Think for Yourself

I park in the same parking area. I put my keys in the same basket. I brush my teeth before I take my shower. I love the feeling of knowing. But, something really interesting happened when I started noticing other people's knowing.

When I would finish an event, I would ask someone in the group how it went. The gal who hated her weight reported that she felt others thought she was lazy. The woman who felt older thought that she was looked at as old.

Are you following what I'm saying? What I'm saying is that often times you're filling in things you think others are thinking. As for those two women, no one in our group viewed them as lazy or old. (Group feedback described them as dynamic and charismatic.)

I know there are times you're right. There's no shortage of people who discriminate against people based off of their color, weight, sex, or age (to name a few). But, that's not what I'm focusing on. I'm focusing on you and how you think you know what others are thinking.

So, I want to offer up a solution
The next time you automatically fill in what you think someone else is thinking about you, become aware of it and say to yourself, "I'm not in their head — so stay in mine." Then, once you're back in your own head with your own thoughts, go back to what you were doing.

I can't tell you strongly enough how important it is to stop thinking you know what someone else is thinking. And, if you find out what someone really thinks about you, remember this: your opinion of you is what matters most. 

If you need anything, just email me. I am always here to help. ⚅⚄