control

An Emotional Prisoner

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As said by Dr. David Viscott, a well-known psychiatrist, that emotional freedom means that you can do what you want, when you want to do it. You see, when you are emotionally free, you believe in your own goodness and you act to increase your sense of self-worth.

To put it my way, “Sure, I see them rolling their eyes at me, but, I don’t care because what I do care about is thinking about things I can control.”

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

3 Battles That Rule Your World

Where's your battle? Is it what you focus on? Is it the meaning you give to what you're focusing on? Or, is it the action you take after all that? If you're not sure if you know the answer, you're not alone. That's because it takes a high level of self-awareness to know the answer. Let me explain.

What You Focus On
People always have the choice to focus on what they can control or what they can't control. But, every focus you take, creates a feeling. Here's an example: You go to work and feel because a customer yelled at you that you're not respected.

This is an example of something you cannot control. If you continue to focus on that event over and over (after it's over), your become upset (a negative emotion). And even though you're home and eating a wonderful meal your daughter cooked, you're still upset.

What Does It Mean
Not feeling respected because a stranger (the customer) yelled at you could be true, or not be true. But, you have the choice to put what meaning you want to about the event. One choice is to say the woman yelled, you can't control that, you're doing your job, and you hope her day gets better!

Another choice is to internalize her mean words, experience them on a personal level, and get upset. Whether you're right or not, you've decided that her yelling at you means she doesn't respect you.

What Action Will You Take
After the yelling incident, one action you could take is yell at the next customer you talk to (because you're so upset). Another action you could take is to call your daughter and tell her you're looking forward to her wonderful dinner she has planned. 

The Bottom Line
Begin today to become aware of what you focus on, what meaning you give to it, and what action follows. Remember, you always have a choice to focus on what you can and can't control. And true happiness comes when you stop trying to control things you can't control.

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

2 Kinds of Mornings

Morning #1: A hot mess!
You wake up late. Turning to shut the snooze alarm, you pull your shoulder. While walking to the bathroom, the bathroom door hits your pulled shoulder. You wait for warm water, but it never comes so you wash you face quickly in cold water.

As you fix breakfast, warm up your car, drive to work you're noticing how many little itty bitty things are going wrong. Every light is turning yellow, burnt toast, coffee spilled on your pants. 

The problem with Morning #1 is that your day never really improves as the day goes on. Oh, it might a little, but mostly your day stays a hot mess until your head hits the pillow that night.

Morning #2: A hot sexy mess!
You wake up before your alarm and turn on some soothing music. Moving smoothly to the bathroom, you turn on the water and it gets hot immediately. As you run that wonderful water over your face, you glance at yourself in the bathroom mirror. You look and feel beautifully rested. 

Breakfast is full of protein, your car feels clean inside, and your favorite parking place is available so you make it to work right on time.

How to Deal With Morning #1
The happier you are (about your life), the less Morning #1 bothers you. I know burnt toast isn't what you want, but burnt toast it is. (It's times like this that I wish I had you sitting in front of me. I have an awesome chart that explains this. It's a little tricker on paper.)

I have told you — in so many of my posts — that the best way to deal with life's challenges is to accept it. Let me give you a great example.

You're in the middle of a Morning #1 — but now it's around 5 p.m (and you're still having a bad day). You go to the market to buy some groceries. When you go to grab a grocery cart, two carts are pushed together. So you fight, pull, and jerk uncontrollably trying with all your might to make those two carts come apart. 

Remedy
Let go of the carts! Calm down. Look around, and find another cart. Meaning: Accept your day just as it is. Allow all the hot mess to show itself. It's when you're in control (of you) will things stop happening. In fact, they vanish.

If you need anything, just email me. I am always here to help. ⚅⚄