choice

Negative Feedback

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It’s 4 p.m. I’m speaking in a gorgeous
hotel conference room. The place is packed. The audience is about ready to leave after a day of training. They just heard me teach a topic called Emotional Intelligence (how to handle your emotions).

As I’m just about to say good luck and good bye, a woman yells out, “You know what Sandra ― I didn’t really like you ― when I first heard you speak.” Now, the room is totally quiet. The audience is waiting for my reaction. The fact is, I had no reaction. I simply smiled, and thanked that gal for her feedback.

But, when everyone was leaving, many attendees commented, “Wow. That’s the ultimate example of great emotional control, Sandra. Didn’t her comment upset you?” My reply was, “Just remember what I taught you today. It’s ok if someone doesn’t like you. Just make sure you always like you.”

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Time to Decide

When the universe presents you with difficulty, will you take it on? Can you trust? Is that's the way it's suppose to go down? We're talking about -- taking your life to the next level -- kind of difficulty.

Or. Will you fight it? Will you reject the uncomfortableness of it all? Well. You have two choices. Accept it. Resist it. You decide.

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

3 Battles That Rule Your World

Where's your battle? Is it what you focus on? Is it the meaning you give to what you're focusing on? Or, is it the action you take after all that? If you're not sure if you know the answer, you're not alone. That's because it takes a high level of self-awareness to know the answer. Let me explain.

What You Focus On
People always have the choice to focus on what they can control or what they can't control. But, every focus you take, creates a feeling. Here's an example: You go to work and feel because a customer yelled at you that you're not respected.

This is an example of something you cannot control. If you continue to focus on that event over and over (after it's over), your become upset (a negative emotion). And even though you're home and eating a wonderful meal your daughter cooked, you're still upset.

What Does It Mean
Not feeling respected because a stranger (the customer) yelled at you could be true, or not be true. But, you have the choice to put what meaning you want to about the event. One choice is to say the woman yelled, you can't control that, you're doing your job, and you hope her day gets better!

Another choice is to internalize her mean words, experience them on a personal level, and get upset. Whether you're right or not, you've decided that her yelling at you means she doesn't respect you.

What Action Will You Take
After the yelling incident, one action you could take is yell at the next customer you talk to (because you're so upset). Another action you could take is to call your daughter and tell her you're looking forward to her wonderful dinner she has planned. 

The Bottom Line
Begin today to become aware of what you focus on, what meaning you give to it, and what action follows. Remember, you always have a choice to focus on what you can and can't control. And true happiness comes when you stop trying to control things you can't control.

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

3 Key Areas for Stress

You want to know what’s not easy? Talking to busy people about how to handle stress. That’s because stress can come from three major areas of life: 
Area #1   Personal (that’s all the home stuff plus family and health)
Area #2   Money (that’s everything financial like bills, savings, and debt)
Area #3   Work (that’s your current job plus career goals)

And, no matter where I’m speaking, people want to know how to lower stress. And, they’re so right to want that goal. That’s because when stress rules your life, your life experiences little joy. As I love to tell my audience, more joy — less stress. 

I want you to know the truth about stress. The truth is that the greatest stress in life is that which comes from feeling out of control and powerless. In other words, when you feel you have no choice, no possibility of change, stress prevails.

I know you’ve heard this before, but, change is always possible. Choice is always there. But, stress has you so freaked out and focused on the stress, it’s hard to see anything else. And, for many people, choice doesn’t feel even remotely possible. 

Here's one way to deal with this problem. When stress hits, choose to stay calm. Look for a solution. For example, you probably can’t leave your job, but while you sit there answering the phones, you can decide to focus on your inner strength and say, “I can handle this." Then, when you get home from work, crank up Sam Smith and dance for joy. (I'm serious about the dancing.)

Change isn’t easy. It takes time. It takes practice. But, over time, change will happen. Begin the habit of telling yourself that you do have choices. Tell yourself that change can happen. And when you hear your inner self say that that’s not true, override that voice and say, “I have a choice. Change is possible.”

As always, if you need anything, just ask. I'm always here to help. ⚅⚄