This I know for sure: Without exception, discomfort precedes positive change. And that discomfort can be so overwhelming (and automatic), that it can make you stop trying. But, if I could offer you one piece of advice it would be to never stop trying.
You must figure out what is it about you that isn't being given a chance to show itself. You must find out where your negative beliefs are coming from. You must look at why you're still dealing with the same old stuff you've been struggling with for the past 10 years.
But as you look at all this, don't be too hard on yourself. You see, the reason things never change is because you're designed to utilize habits. Habits are formed over time and embed deep into your subconscious. (I blogged about this a couple of weeks ago.)
In fact, research shows that about 85%-90% of everything you do on a daily basis is automatic. Crazy right? So, what you want to consider is how to change what you expect.
If you normally expect to get mad at this one particular co-worker (cause she always makes you mad), change that by expecting yourself to not get mad just because you're working with her. I know it's easier said than done, but it works just the same.
Try what I'm suggesting. You'll soon discover how incredibly difficult it is to do. But over time, it will get easier. I promise you that if you hang in there, you'll be able to work with that co-worker and you won't end up mad. But it can't change if you stop.
If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help. ⚅⚄