You will always do what aligns with your self-vision. If your self-vision is lack, you will find a way to make choices that align with lack, then see lack. If your self-vision is victim, you will engage in a series of events to end up victimized, then see yourself as a victim.
In other words, you subconsciously orchestrate behaviors and watch for the proof to show itself. This is a coping mechanism. You cope by saying to yourself, "My self-vision must be true because bad things keep happening to me."
Unfortunately, this is the work of your pesky inner critic -- who has cleverly fabricated an unhealthy version of you. This means, you are not seeing your authentic self. Lack, victim, that's not you.
Take over your self-vision. Push your inner critic out. Stop this cycle. If you don't, it will continue embedding (false) negative beliefs -- in your subconscious -- about who you are. And who you are -- is the most wonderfully beautiful human being on the face of the earth.
If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help. ⚅⚄