You are hearing two different things.

Train yourself to wait. Wait for an organic (real) response to someone. Not the knee-jerk response you default to. My own findings are that we can -- sometimes -- react without hearing what is really being said. In other words, we think we know what was said, but we are wrong. This happens with new people we meet and with people we have known forever. So, next time you are conversing with someone, just really listen. Then -- in your mind -- try not to put your spin on what they said. Accept it for what it is. Life Is Fabulous!