4 Secrets to Getting Unstuck


I want to comment on something I've been seeing lately. Seems the people I have come across are reaching, asking, thinking, and growing. By this I mean, they've dug down deep in their heart and soul, took the time to think about their life, and decided to make some serious changes.

It takes great courage to do this because (for most of us) having the time and energy to do — beyond what you already do — is sometimes impossible. With work, family, and everyday stressors, you can end up giving up on a dream.

Feeling stuck is what you feel when life's drama keeps you from your dream(s).

So this brings me to (without a doubt) the #1 question I get asked. I get this question from my coaching clients, or when I'm sitting next to a stranger. (And, between you and me, I almost want to dodge the question because most people don't like my answer and think I sound fluffy.)

So. The #1 question I get asked is, "How do you get unstuck?"

Here are 4 secrets to getting unstuck:
🔸 You must have the self-belief that you can do what it is you want to do
🔸 You must have the self-belief that you deserve it and allow yourself to have it
🔸 You must trust that after you decide to do it, that it will happen
🔸 You must stick with it until what you want to happen, does happen

Keep up all your hard work. You will gain ground. You are achieving.

If you need anything, just email me. I'm always here to help.

Seven Steps to Achievement

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Over the years, behavioral scientists have observed that some people have an intense need to achieve, while others do not seem to be as concerned about achievement.

This phenomenon fascinated David C. McClelland. For over twenty years, he and his associates at Harvard University studied this urge to achieve and developed the needs-based motivational model, which consists of three motivational forces.

The following is an explanation of one of the motivational forces—the ‘need for achievement’—as found in his book The Achieving Society.

The Need for Achievement
A person who is ‘achievement motivated’ seeks achievement, attainment of realistic but challenging goals, and advancement in the job. There is a strong need for feedback as to achievement and progress, and a need for a sense of accomplishment.

Seven Steps to Achievement
A determined, results-driven approach is almost invariably present in the character make-up of all successful business people and entrepreneurs.

Achievement-motivated people share these seven characteristics and attitudes:

  1. Achievement is more important than material or financial reward.

  2. Achieving the aim or task gives greater personal satisfaction than receiving praise or recognition.

  3. Financial reward is regarded as a measurement of success, not an end in itself.

  4. Security is not the prime motivator, or is status.

  5. Reliable and factual feedback is essential because it enables measurement of success—not for reasons of praise or recognition.

  6. Achievement-motivated people constantly seek improvements and ways of doing things better.

  7. Achievement-motivated people will logically favor jobs—like sales, business management, and entrepreneurial roles—along with responsibilities that offer flexibility and opportunity that naturally satisfy their needs to set and achieve goals.

How to Use This
View your challenges and obstacles as an opportunity for you to achieve your goals. Find ways to problem solve. Stop worrying what everyone will think of you. Let go of needing all of the control. Stay centered by believing you have everything it takes to find solutions and move forward.

Action Steps

  • Don’t sacrifice your own goals to keep someone else happy.

  • Don’t stay stuck in your comfort zone. Get out of there and reach your full potential.

  • Don’t be afraid of failing.

  • Don’t wait for everything to be perfect before you begin—just begin.

  • Don’t waste time. Get organized and prioritize.

  • Don’t block out other people. Let them help you achieve your goals.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Find It and Squash It

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What’s your current limit for success and happiness?

If you’re wondering why you wouldn’t know, here’s the answer. You wouldn’t know because it’s really your subconscious beliefs that ultimately determines how much success and happiness you will achieve. Put another way, what you believe to be true, is true.

As a breakthrough coach who works with individuals wanting to live an exceptional life, I find that one small, limiting belief can keep them from progressing. But, the size of the belief isn’t what matters. What does matter is that you’ve got to uncover the pesky little thing and squash it.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Not Easy But Important

When you have an inability to say ‘no’ to family, friends, or colleagues, you give them your valuable time and energy. This can leave you drained and depleted.

When it's time to say no, say so. How do you do that? With these simple, three steps. Let’s use the scenario of someone wanting you to help them move:

  1. Open with something positive, like, “I’m so glad you’re moving, I know you’ve been wanting to move for a long time.”

  2. Then, say, “Unfortunately, I’m unavailable to help you because I’ve already have plans.”

  3. Finish with, “Hope your move goes well, and let me know if you need any boxes. I’ve got tons I can give you.”

That sounds easy, but that’s because I’ve taught that script a bazillion times. The thing to remember is this: just because you’re telling someone ‘no’, doesn’t mean you have to feel bad about it. In other words, start with a positive. Also, giving a because works wonders every time.

And, if your because is private information — like you’re unavailable because you’re going to counseling to repair your marriage — you don’t disclose you’re going to counseling to repair you marriage. You’re because is worded in such a way that simply tells the other person that you already have something planned.

Now, end on a positive. Why not end on a positive? Just because (in this case) you can’t help your friend move, doesn’t mean you’re not a good friend.

The script is good, but you’ve got to practice it. Especially if you have people who take advantage of you just because — they know — you can’t say ‘no’.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Kick Them Out

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What is your great influencer? Some are easy to spot, but not all are, though. The tough one to find is the one you don't know exists. It has your attention. It affects you everyday. But, you don't realize it.

My recommendation is to sift through and figure out what gets your attention. Then ask yourself, "Does this influence me?"

See. Negative influences are so powerful because they slip down deep into your inner circle. Meaning. They are embedded in your heart and mind. Which is your most sacred space. But, like a good bouncer at a popular bar, you must kick them out.

Only the influences that help you become your true self are invited in.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Three Questions

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1 . Could you stand discovering a hidden part of you?

2 . When it showed itself, would you have the courage to embrace it?

3 . And, if you couldn't, would that make you weak?

The answer is absolutely, positively not. Weakness has nothing to do with not wanting to see that part of you that is referred to as your shadow. Think about it. It sits in a hidden place. Unseen. Disassociated from anything viewable in your life.

But, like a stone in your shoe, it's there. It hurts. Negatively affecting every relationship you have. Including the most important relationship. The one you have with yourself. For it is your sense of self that directs what you do, how you do it, and how much joy you gain from it.

So. Know this. You’re healthy, true self get expressed — only to the degree — that it is visible. And. What about the invisible? Unfortunately, what you can't see about yourself has the power to have a negative affect on just about everything you can see.

But, of course, you don't know it, cause you can't see it.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Just the Numbers

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Quick Facts About Stress:

➡︎ Americans spend $11.3 billion per year to cope with stress.
➡︎ Over 90% of disease is caused or complicated by stress.
➡︎ Job stress is estimated to cost U.S. industry $300 billion annually.
➡︎ Percentage of adults being treated for depression: 54%.
➡︎ Stress has been linked to all leading causes of death, including heart disease and cancer.
➡︎ Long-term stress is strongly associated with depression, heart disease, and weakened immune system.
➡︎ Up to 60% of employee absences are due to psychological problems such as stress and depression.
➡︎ Estimated percentage of American adults attempting to control stress: 95%

What are your stress level like?

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Just Listen to Your Heart

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When your life is in the flow, it feels fantastic. When you are stuck, it feels funky. What makes this happen? Fear. To remedy this, when fear hits, use all your energy to break free of the internal messages keeping you stuck. How do you do that? By listening to your heart. It will tell you what you need to do.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

Recognize the Signal

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How long does it take for you to make a decision, get started, or finish something? For me, it depends. It depends on my emotional investment. And, my struggle, is to quiet my emotions as my work moves me into deeper waters.

So, the lesson here is not to be unemotional. The lesson is to recognize that your emotions are a signal. The stronger the signal, the greater the decision.

In a nutshell, your destiny is calling.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.

In Jeopardy

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There is a difference between chunking activities and going crazy on one activity. It all rests in your prioritization.

Low-level activities such as cleaning, shopping, or paying bills should be chunked. Top-priority activities —such as pursuing a great business idea — requires your full-on attention and tons of time.

Hear me, though. If you do not have the self-mastery to arrange this required order, the success of your dream will be in jeopardy.

Bottom line: Protect your dream with devoted focus.

If you need anything, just email me. I’m always here to help.